* 12 Stress, Anxiety, Excitement (p.3 of 9)
12.9 When you ask if a person is alright
Are you alright? Listen A “Are you going through this situation well?” < – “No. I cut my hand and it hurts.”>
Are you doing alright? Listen < – “Yes, thank you. I’m just minding my own business.”>
Are you OK? Listen < – “I’m fine.”>
Are you doing OK? Listen < – “I’m just a little tired.”>
Is everything OK? Listen A “Is everything well with you in this situation?” < – “Not really. I feel sick.”>
12.10 When you ask why a person looks unhappy
What’s wrong? Listen A “What bad has happened?” < – “I have a headache.”>
What happened? Listen < – “I broke up with my girlfriend.”>
What’s with you? Listen A “Why do you look so depressed?” < – “My beloved little dog is sick.”>
What’s the matter? Listen < – “Oh, heavens! Don’t ask.”>
What’s got you down? Listen A “What has made you unhappy?” <“Oh, nothing. Alice left me.”>
Has something got you down? Listen A “Has something made you unhappy?” < – “My sister is in trouble. I have to help her.”>
Has life got you down? Listen A “Has life made you unhappy?” < – “No, I’m all right… Trying to be…”>
Are things getting you down? Listen A “Are things making you unhappy?” < – “Well, it’s been a hard day.”>
Why do you look so sad? Listen < – “Well, it’s just life”>
Why are your eyes so sad? Listen < – “It’s just one of those days.”>
Why is your face so long? Listen < – “I have a hard time making ends meet.”>
12.11 When a person is stressed out
Relax. Listen <“I’m a bundle of nerves.” – “Relax.”>
Calm down. Listen <“I’m so mad.” – “Calm down.”>
Be calm. Listen <“Everything is getting on my nerves.” – “Be calm.”>
Calm yourself. Listen <“I’m sitting on pins and needles.” – “Calm yourself.”>
Cool off. Listen <“I feel like I’m losing my mind.” – “Cool off.”>
Cool down. Listen <“I’m going nuts.” – “Cool down.”>
Chill out. Listen <“This is more than I can take.” – “Chill out.”>
Take it easy. Listen A “You don’t need to be stressed out.” <“I’m furious.” – “Take it easy.”>
Take a deep breath. Listen <“I can’t take another problem.” – “Take a deep breath.”>
Breathe deeply. Listen <“I’m depressed.” – “Breathe deeply.”>
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Listen A “There is always hope in an unfavorable situation.” <“I lost my job. I’m scared.” – “There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.”>
Help is on the way. Listen A “You will be helped.” <“I am discouraged. I feel like a fish out of water.” – “Your mommy is flying in this weekend. Help is on the way.”>
Don’t worry. Listen A “Don’t be too stressed out. Everything will be OK.” <“I think I left the car unlocked. I’m so absent-minded.” – “Don’t worry. I locked it.”>
Not to worry. Listen A “There is nothing to worry about.” <“There is a chance we’ll be late for our train.” – “Not to worry. They have a train every half an hour.”>
Don’t worry so much. Listen <“I’m so nervous about my presentation.” – “Don’t worry so much. Everything will be all right.”>
Don’t worry about a thing. Listen A “Everything will be taken care of.” <“I am a first-time home buyer. I have never dealt with so much paperwork.” – “Don’t worry about a thing. The lawyer is taking care of everything.”>
Don’t worry yourself sick. Listen <“I’ve been unemployed for quite a while already. I failed to find a decent job.” – “Don’t worry yourself sick. Just try harder.”>
Don’t worry yourself sick over it. Listen <“I forgot to pay my credit card bill.” – “Don’t worry yourself sick over it. The balance you owe is low, so a penalty they impose on you will be small.”>
Don’t trouble yourself. Listen <“My husband is working too hard.” – “Don’t trouble yourself. Husbands should work. This is what they are for.”>
Don’t lose sleep over it. Listen <“Where is my wallet? Have I lost it?” – “Don’t lose sleep over it. Your girlfriend’s picture was the only valuable thing in it.”>
Don’t fret. Listen <“Oh, my! I saw a snake on the driveway!” – “Don’t fret. Snakes are afraid of people more than people are afraid of snakes.”>
Don’t sweat it. Listen A “Don’t perspire over it. Don’t worry.” <“Good grief! I think I lost my driver’s license.” – “Don’t sweat it. They’ll give you a new one.”>
Let it be. Listen A “You can’t change the situation, so stop worrying about it.” <“I can’t get over his rude remark. I need to do something about it.” – “Let it be. He didn’t mean any harm.”>
Let it go. Listen <“He jeered at me in the presence of my colleagues! Can you believe that?” – “Let it go. You’ll find a way to get even with him.”>
Let’s talk about it. Listen A “Let me talk with you about your problem and help you resolve it.” <“My wife doesn’t like me. My boss doesn’t respect me. I think I’ve got a problem.” – “Let’s talk about it. I believe I can help you.”>
There is no point in crying. Listen A “Crying won’t help you.” <“There is no point in crying over spilled milk.”>
Stop being hysterical. Listen <“I’m driving as fast as I can. Stop being hysterical. We’ll be at the airport in the nick of time.”>
Close your eyes and count to ten. Listen <“I had a job interview. Now I’m anxiously waiting to hear back from the company.” – “Close your eyes and count to ten. Everything will be fine.”>
You’ll send yourself to an early grave. Listen <“Don’t work overtime every day. You will send yourself to an early grave.”>
12.12 When there is no reason to overreact
It’s no big deal. Listen A “It’s not really a problem.” <“So, you lost your driver’s license? It’s no big deal. They will issue you a duplicate.”>
What’s the problem? Listen A “There is no really a problem there.” <“Your girlfriend left you? What’s the problem? You didn’t get along anyway. Consider it as an opportunity rather than a drama.”>
So what? Listen A “Why is it important?” <“Your car is sure dirty.” – “So what? A next rain will wash it.”>
You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Listen A “You are presenting a minor issue as a major one.” <“Our company has some financial problems. But we aren’t going to close down. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill.”>
Don’t get yourself all bent out of shape. Listen A “Don’t get angry.” <“The recession is deep, and you lost much money. Don’t get yourself all bent out of shape, though. This is not the end of the world.” >
Don’t blow it out of proportion. Listen A “Don’t exaggerate the importance of what is happening.” <“Indeed, newspapers and magazines are losing subscribers. But this business is far from being over. Don’t blow it out of proportion.”>
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