* 5 Directing a Conversation (p.2 of 8)
5.4 When you mention additional things
Et cetera. Listen <“In school we play football, soccer, basketball, tennis, et cetera.”>
And so on. Listen <“At the grocery store I bought bread, milk, vegetables, fruit, and so on.”>
And so forth. Listen <“People in the disaster zone need water, food, blankets, tents, and so forth.”>
And all like that. Listen <“This band plays jazz, rock, country, folk, and all like that.”>
And everything like that. Listen <“At the clothes department they sell shirts, skirts, suits, dresses, and everything like that.”>
And one more thing. Listen A “I want to add one more item to those I have already listed.” <“And one more thing. Don’t walk around alone after dark. It may be dangerous.”>
5.5 When a speaker deviates from the main topic
You’re getting off the subject. Listen <“Stop arguing in circles. You are getting off the subject.”>
You’re begging the question. Listen A “You are trying to evade the issue.” <“It’s impossible to argue with you. You are begging the question.”>
That’s not the point. Listen A “That is not the issue.” <“Yes, I understand that you have personal issues. But that’s not the point. You are a sportsman, and you need to show results.”>
That’s beside the point. Listen A “That is outside the scope of the issue.” <“You are a great artist, no doubt. But that’s beside the point. Your art should generate income. Simply put, you need money.”>
That’s beside the question. Listen A “That is outside the scope of the question under discussion.” <You’re going into nonessential detail. That’s beside the question. Don’t shift our debate off the subject.”>
That has nothing to do with it. Listen <“I don’t understand why you refer to your unhappy childhood while we are investigating the accident you caused. That has nothing to do with it.”>
That has nothing to do with what I’m talking about. Listen <“I’m glad to hear that. However that has nothing to do with what I’m talking about.”>
That’s not at issue. Listen <“I’m going to disregard the sad story of your life and all that. That’s not at issue.”>
That’s not the issue. Listen <“I admit, this product has some drawbacks and could be improved technically. But that’s not the issue. This product failed to find its niche in the market. This is why I propose to discontinue its production.”>
That’s irrelevant. Listen <“Why are you bringing that up? That’s irrelevant.”>
That’s another story. Listen <“I understand that your question is somehow related to our discussion. But that’s another story.”>
5.6 When you want a speaker to get to the point
Get to the point. Listen A “Make your most important statement.” <“You’ve been talking for half an hour already. Get to the point. Don’t go into detail.”>
What’s your point? Listen A “What is your most important statement?” <“OK, I understand all that. What’s your point?”>
What’s the point? Listen <“I’ve heard your story. What’s the point?”>
Spare me the details. Listen A “Don’t dwell on the details of secondary importance.” <“All right, spare me the details, get to the point.”>
What are you saying? Listen <“The total income of our family has been decreasing in recent years.” – “What are you saying? That we haven’t been frugal enough?” – “No. I’m saying that we haven’t been making enough money.”>
What are you trying to say? Listen <“It’s very expensive to keep a hospital in our town.” – “What are you trying to say? That we don’t need a hospital in our town?”>
What are you trying to tell me? Listen <“Your husband is abusive. Also, he drinks to excess.” – “What are you trying to tell me? That I need to leave my husband?”>
What are you trying to get at? Listen <“Boss, studies show that one college graduate can do the job of three retirement-age employees.” – “What are you trying to get at? That I’m too old to work here?”>
What are you getting at? Listen <“I have much work to do.” – “What are you getting at? Are we going to have our mini-vacation this weekend or not?”>
What do you mean? Listen <“I don’t quite understand what you are saying. What do you mean?”>
What do you mean to tell me? Listen <“Darling, wouldn’t it be wonderful to eat at a restaurant tonight?” – “My dearest wife, what do you mean to tell me? Have you burned the dinner again?”>
What’s the bottom line? Listen A “What’s the conclusion?” <“I’ve been patiently listening to you for a long time. What’s the bottom line?”>
Cut to the chase. Listen A “Go directly to the point.” <“Why don’t you stop this chatter and cut to the chase?”>
5.7 When you request an answer
What’s your answer? Listen A “What is your response or decision?” <“We made you our offer. What’s your answer?”>
What’s your response? Listen <“I’m offering you a fair price for your boat. What is your response?”>
What do you say? Listen A “What do you say in response?” <“I can give you a hundred dollars for your old motorcycle. What do you say?”>
5.8 When you ask for details or explanation
Why? Listen A “For what reason? For what purpose? What caused it? Please explain.” <“I closed the window.” – “Why? It’s pretty hot today.” – “Flies and mosquitoes might come in.”>
Why not? Listen A “Why are you saying no?” <“I don’t think you need to eat so much ice cream.” – “Why not? I like it.” – “There is much sugar in it.”>
How so? Listen A “How does it happen in such a way? Please explain.” <“Not all arctic birds suffer from global warming.” – “How so?” – “Some birds thrive in warmer climate.”>
How come? Listen A “How did it come about? Why?” <“You are expecting a new earthquake in the next few years. How come?” – “I have a hunch.”>
Why do you think so? Listen A “What allows you to make this conclusion?” <“You are stating that Mrs. Smith is innocent. Why do you think so”? – “I have evidence.”>
Why do you think that? Listen <“This week is going to be colder than usual.” – “Why do you think that?” – “I watched the weather channel on TV last night.”>
What makes you think so? Listen <“The Moon is getting farther from the Earth with every turn.” – “What makes you think so?” – “Actually, I don’t know. I read about it in some scientific magazine.”>
What makes you so sure? Listen <“This car is out of order.” – “What makes you so sure?” – “I can’t start the engine.”>
How do you know that? Listen A “What is the source of this information?” <“You claim that the suspect was at the crime scene. How do you know that?” – “I was there myself.”>
Could you explain it in more detail? Listen (used with can or could) <“I heard your point. However I missed something, I guess. Could you explain it in more detail?”>
Could you provide some details? Listen (used with can or could) <When the press secretary finished his briefing on the incident, the head of the press corps asked him, “Could you provide some details?”>
Could you give me an example? Listen (used with can or could) <“You’re saying that medieval Japanese poetry is highly emotional. Could you give me an example?”>
Can you illustrate that? Listen (used with can or could) <“You are stating that your new analytical method is more accurate than alternative ones. Can you illustrate that?”>
Could you tell a little more about it? Listen (used with can or could) <The journalist asked the general, “We understand this military operation is top secret. However, could you tell a little more about it?”>
Could you elaborate on that? Listen (used with can or could) < “I guess your plan is good. But I didn’t quite understand the last part. Could you elaborate on that?”>
Is there anything else you can tell me? Listen (used with can or could) <“Thank you for your information. I appreciate your honesty. Is there anything else you can tell me?”>
What else can you tell me about it? Listen (used with can or could) <The journalist told the witness, “I’ve heard your testimony. This is a very unusual case. What else can you tell me about it? Do you have any private information to share?”>
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