* 7 Negative Attitude in a Conversation (p.4 of 4)
7.15 When you demonstrate indifference in a sarcastic manner
What makes you think I care? Listen <“The stock market lost a hundred points today.” – “What makes you think I care? I don’t play with stocks.”>
Do you really think I care? Listen <“I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.” – “Do you really think I care?”>
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Listen <“Don’t tell her that. She might get angry with you.” – “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Her opinion about me is the least of my concerns.”>
Good for you! Listen <“I got punished for what I hadn’t done!” – “Good for you! Now you know that there’re punishments of all sorts.”>
I’m happy for you. Listen <“It’s unfair!” – “I’m happy for you. Now you know that the world is unfair.”>
7.16 When you express sympathy in a sarcastic manner
Oh, you poor thing. Listen <“I took the last piece of cake. Did you want it? Oh, you poor thing!”>
Oh, poor baby. Listen <“Oh, poor baby. You’ve been driving all night. Well, go to bed now and have a good sleep.”>
7.17 When a point or action is unimportant
It’s not important. Listen <“What are we going to do about your birthday?” – “I don’t care. It’s not important.”>
It doesn’t matter. Listen A “It is so unimportant that nobody cares.” <“What do you want me to give you as a birthday present?” – “It doesn’t matter. We have other concerns.”>
It isn’t worth it. Listen A “It is so unimportant that it does not deserve the concern involved.” <“I tried to find facts to support this theory.” – “Don’t bother. It isn’t worth it. This theory is just erroneous.”>
It isn’t worthwhile. Listen A “It does not deserve the time it requires.” <“Do you think I need to impress this customer by taking him out to a fancy restaurant?” – “No, I don’t. It isn’t worthwhile. You’re a young salesman. Even if you lose this customer, there will always be another one.”>
It isn’t worth my while. Listen <“I decided to cancel my business trip. It isn’t worth my while.”>
It isn’t worth mentioning. Listen A “It is so unimportant that it does not deserve attention.” <”Yes, I had an accident. It’s no big deal, though. It isn’t worth mentioning.”>
It’s not worth the trouble. Listen A “It is so unimportant that it does not deserve the effort involved.” <“Do you want me to clean this rug?” – “Don’t bother about it. It isn’t worth the trouble. I’m going to throw it away.”>
It’s no big deal. Listen A “It’s not really an important thing.” <“You’ve got a bruise? It’s no big deal. I’ve got a scar.”>
You’re just wasting my time. Listen A “It’s a loss of time. I’ve got more important things to do.” <“Listen, I’m not interested in your story. You are just wasting my time.”>
Don’t waste my time. Listen A “Don’t take up my valuable time with whatever you want to do or tell me.” <“I would like to demonstrate our new product line to you.” – “Don’t waste my time. I’m not interested.”>
Don’t waste your time. Listen A “Even if you spend your time on me, you won’t get a positive response.” <“I still want to convince you to reconsider your decision.” – “Don’t waste your time. My decision is final.”>
What does that prove? Listen A “What important conclusion can be drawn out of that? That does not mean much.” <“Professor, there are few examples that contradict the theory.” – “What does that prove? Those examples are exceptions that confirm the rule.”>
What about it? Listen A “Why does it matter?” <“I heard you had had an accident.” – “Yes? What about it?”>
7.18 When you demean a speaker’s point by humiliating a speaker
Who are you? Listen A “Are you so important that what you say has value?” <“All you’re saying is simply wrong.” – “Who are you? Who are you to talk to me like that?”>
Says who? Listen A “Why do you think you are so important that I need to agree with you?” <“Your music is garbage. Nobody is going to listen to it.” – “Says who? I’ll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself.”>
Says you! Listen A “It’s just you who says that, and nobody else, so that’s not really important.” <“This book is just pulp fiction.” – “Says you! My sister has a different opinion.”>
7.19 When what you do has higher priority
I'm busy. Listen A “Don’t disturb me. I can’t take care of your problems now.” <“I can’t deal with your petty complaints now. I’m busy!”>
I've got work to do. Listen <“Can we talk about it some other time? I’ve got work to do.”>
I’ve got better things to do. Listen A “There are more important things that I have to spend my time on.” (used with have got or have) <“You didn’t attend the meeting yesterday.” – “They often waste time on petty issues. I’ve got better things to do.”>
I have bigger fish to fry. Listen A “I’ve got more important things to do.” <“I don’t have time to attend to your needs now. I have bigger fish to fry.”>
7.20 When you reject something
No, thank you. Listen A “No, I don’t need it.” <“Would you like something to drink?” – “No, thank you. I’m fine.”>
Not right now. Listen A “No, I don’t need it now, but I expect you will ask me again later.” <“Would you care for another piece of pie?” – “Not right now, thank you.”>
Perhaps a little later. Listen A “No, I don’t need it now, but there is a chance I might need it later.” <“Would you like a cup of tea now?” – “Perhaps a little later, thank you.”>
Thanks, but no thanks. Listen A “I appreciate your offer, but I don’t need it.” <“Do you think you might need my old bicycle?” – “Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather have a new one.”>
7.21 When you express displeasure with a thing
That’s not what I had in mind. Listen <“Thank you for your demonstration. That’s not what I had in mind.”>
That doesn’t fit the bill. Listen A “That does not comply with my requirements.” <“Do you have butter?” – “No, I don’t. Here is some cooking oil, though.” – “That doesn’t fit the bill. I need dairy butter for sandwiches.”>
That doesn’t fill the bill. Listen <“Do you like this blue blouse?” – “M-m… That doesn’t fill the bill. I need a blouse to match my red skirt.”>
That doesn’t quite suit me. Listen <“I need a rope” – “Here is a string.” – “That doesn’t quite suit me. I need a thick, strong rope.”>
That’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Listen A “That is not what it is believed to be.” <I have a company car. But that’s not what it’s cracked up to be. I need a robust four-wheel drive suitable for the country road.”>
I’ve seen better. Listen A “There are better things than this one which makes this one unacceptable.” <“What do you think about this dress?” – “I’ve seen better. Don’t buy this one.”>
I don’t like it. Listen <“Do you want this toy?” – “No. I don’t like it.”>
I don’t care for it. Listen <“Would you care for a piece of cake?” – “No, I don’t care for it.”>
I can’t stand it. Listen A “I don’t tolerate it.” <“Why are you putting on this old dress? I can’t stand it.”>
I hate it. Listen <“They want me to play for a losing team. I hate it. This game is lost already.>
I need it like a hole in the head. Listen A “I don’t need it at all.” <“Do I need a dog? I need it like a hole in the head. The last dog I had ate a hole in my favorite hat.”>
It’s second-rate. Listen A “This thing is of inferior quality.” <“Do you read this magazine?” – “No. It’s second-rate.”>
It’s not my style. Listen A “It’s not the style I like.” <“Do you like this wig?” – “No. It’s not my style.”>
It’s not for me. Listen <“Do you like this gaudy style?” – “No, it’s not for me. I prefer convenience and simplicity.”>
It’s ugly. Listen <“Mom, I can’t wear the bathing suit you bought for me. It’s ugly.”>
It’s awful. Listen <“Are you going to wear this dress?” – “No. It’s awful.”>
It’s terrible. Listen <“Mother, I’m calling you from my car. I got stuck in traffic on a major freeway.” – “It’s terrible. We all are waiting for you for dinner.”>
It’s hideous. Listen <“What do you think of this new video clip?” – “It’s hideous. The music is chaotic and the lyrics don’t make sense.”>
It’s dreadful. Listen <“A major storm is approaching the California coast.” – “It’s dreadful. We can’t go to the beach anymore.”>
To hell with that! Listen A “I reject it completely.” <“The company needs me to work longer hours for the same lousy pay. To hell with that! I won’t do that.”>
Good-bye and good riddance. Listen A “I am pleased this thing is gone.” <“I’m so glad you finally threw away your old bicycle. Good-bye and good riddance.”>
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