* 12 Stress, Anxiety, Excitement (p.7 of 9)
12.27 When you want to make the best of a bad situation
Make the best of it. Listen A “Try to get the most in an unfavorable situation.” <“It’s so hard to work at this company.” – “Make the best of it. Get experience and make useful contacts.”>
It’s the best I can do under the circumstances. Listen <My sister bandaged my wounded arm and said, “It’s the best I can do under the circumstances. I need to take you to a hospital.”>
I wish I could do more. Listen <“Well, we failed to repair my bicycle. Anyway, thank you for your help.” – “I wish I could do more. I wish I had my tools with me.”>
Something is better than nothing. Listen A “At least you got something.” <“At least I made money on the deal. Something is better than nothing.”>
It’s for the best. Listen A “It is still more or less okay in spite of the way it looks.” <“I didn’t buy the house I wanted.” – “It’s for the best. You couldn’t afford it anyway.”>
It’s all for the best. Listen <“So, your girlfriend dumped you? It’s all for the best. Now you can concentrate upon your study.”>
It was just one of those things. Listen A “It was just one of those unlucky, unavoidable events that in the end even turned out to play a positive role.” <“My great-grandfather got seriously sick and missed his trip on a boat. No one was to blame, of course. It was just one of those things. The name of the boat was Titanic.”>
You need to count your blessings. Listen A “You need to be grateful for the small advantages you still have in your difficult situation.” <“You got injured in the accident, but you are alive. You need to count your blessings.”>
Be thankful for small blessings. Listen <“The times are tough, but you can pay your bills. Be thankful for small blessings.”>
The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes. Listen <“I lost a lot of money trying to get out of that mess.” – “The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes. You will never get into such a mess again.”>
The important thing is that you are alive. Listen <“I got into a really bad accident. My car is a wreck.” – “The important thing is that you’re alive.”>
12.28 When you cannot help in a situation
What am I supposed to do about it? Listen <“The car got stalled. Do something!” – “What am I supposed to do about it? I’m not a mechanic.”>
What do you want me to do about it? Listen <“Son, why don’t you get a job?” – “Mother, nobody wants to hire me. What do you want me to do about it?”>
What do you expect me to do in this situation? Listen <“Yes, dear, our son who is a college student wants to get married. And our daughter who is only nineteen is pregnant. What do you expect me to do in this situation?”>
What else can I do? Listen A “Is there anything else I can do to help in this situation?” <“Did you give the patient all the medicine prescribed?” – “Yes, I did. What else can I do?”>
There’s nothing I can do. Listen <“We’re losing money on this unwise investment.” – “There’s nothing I can do. Next time we have to think twice before investing.”>
This situation is beyond me. Listen <“Our company is going under. We lost competition. This situation is beyond me.”>
This situation is more than I can handle. Listen <“Can you call upon your friends in Washington? Without their political support we can lose local elections.” – “This situation is more than I can handle. Even support from Washington won’t bring us local votes.”>
I can’t help it. Listen A “Unfortunately, I can’t help in this situation.” <“I wish your sister didn’t smoke.” – “I can’t help it. I wish she didn’t either.”>
It can’t be helped. Listen A “Unfortunately, nothing can help in this situation.” <“My rose bush looks dead.” – “It can’t be helped. The current drought killed many plants in the garden.”>
I would if I could, but I can’t. Listen A “I want to help in this situation, but I can’t.” <“We are losing this game. Can you do anything?” – “I would if I could, but I can’t. Our opponents are too strong.”>
My hands are tied. Listen A “I am not free to act as I please.” <“I’m sorry. This situation is more than I can handle. My hands are tied.”>
12.29 When you don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to say. Listen A “I don’t have any idea what I can say.” <“Why did you do such a silly thing?” – “I don’t know what to say.”>
I have nothing to say. Listen <“How could it happen? You were there. Tell me!” – “I have nothing to say.”>
I have nothing to add. Listen <“Why did you do such a dumb thing?” – “I just did. I have nothing to add.”>
I’m speechless. Listen A “I am so surprised I don’t know what to say.” <“They abandoned attempts to find the lost crew.” – “I’m speechless. How can they do that?”>
I have no response. Listen <“Why has the commanding officer decided to abort the rescue mission?” – “I’m not fully aware of all the details. I have no response.”>
I’m lost for words. Listen A “I am so surprised I am unable to say anything.” <“It all has happened so suddenly. I’m lost for words.”>
I’m at a loss for words. Listen <“Why is she so rude to me?” – “I don’t know. I’m at a loss for words.”>
What can I say? Listen A “I don’t have an explanation or excuse.” <“Well, however awful, this is what happened. What can I say?”>
What can I tell you? Listen <“Do you remember any details of what happened that day? Do you have any recollections?” – “Please calm down. What can I tell you?”>
What do you want me to say? Listen <“How on Earth did you lose the car keys? We can’t get home now.” – “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry!”>
No comment. Listen A “I cannot comment on this subject.” <“Did you smoke under the ‘No Smoke’ sign?” – “No comment.”>
12.30 When you accept blame
I take the blame. Listen <“It is a bad investment. I take the blame.”>
I blame no one but myself. Listen <“I made a wrong decision. I blame no one but myself.”>
I take the responsibility. Listen <“It was my child who broke your window. I take the responsibility.”>
I take full responsibility. Listen <“My actions caused that accident. I take full responsibility.”>
I am fully responsible. Listen <“The right front tire blew up, and I lost control of my car. I am fully responsible for what happened afterwards.”>
I did it. Listen <“Do you remember when we were kids somebody broke a rosebush in front of our school, and then you found a rose bouquet on your doorsteps?” – “Hardly. Why?” – “I did it.”>
I’m the one you’re looking for. Listen <“Hey, guys. Somebody brought a box of mineral water instead of beer. We don’t have a drop of beer in the entire camp anymore.” – “I’m the one you’re looking for.”>
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