* 5 Directing a Conversation (p.6 of 8)
5.26 When you don’t want the speaker to repeat the point
So you said. Listen <“I like this place.” – “If you like it, I don’t mind being here.” – “This place is excellent.” – “So you said.”>
I get the point. Listen A “I understand what you want to say.” <“You don’t need to repeat it. I get the point.”>
All right, already. Listen A “I understood you. You don’t need to repeat it.” <“I told you the boss was awaiting your report.” – “All right, already. Don’t push me.”>
I heard you, already. Listen <“Come on! Let’s go!” – “I heard you, already. Don’t rush me.”>
Stop harping on that subject. Listen A “Stop raising that topic again and again.” <“I know I made a mistake. Stop harping on that subject.”>
You are preaching to the choir. Listen A “You are trying to convince a group of people who are already on your side.” <“Don’t waste your time explaining us the problem. You are preaching to the choir”>
You sound like a broken record. Listen <“How many times do I need to ask you to help me?” – “You sound like a broken record. Can’t you wait?”>
5.27 When you stop a person from speaking
Some things are better left unsaid. Listen A “There are subjects that should not be discussed.” <“I really don’t know how to tell you this news”. – “Then don’t. Some things are better left unsaid”.>
Don’t waste your breath. Listen A “Don’t even speak because you won’t get anywhere with it.” < “I’ll talk Bob into spending his vacations with us.” – “Don’t waste your breath. He already has other plans.”>
Keep it to yourself. Listen A “Don’t tell me about it.” <“I’ve got bad news.” – “Keep it to yourself.”>
Spare me the story. Listen A “Don’t tell me your story.” <“Spare me the story. I don’t want to hear anything.”>
Save it! Listen A “Save your story. Stop talking about it.” <“Save it! I’m not interested.”>
Shut up! Listen A “Close your mouth!” <“I’ve got more to say.” – “Shut up! I’ve heard enough.”>
Zip up your mouth! Listen <“You’ve said enough. Zip up your mouth.”>
Give it a rest! Listen A “Give your mouth a rest!” <“It seems like you aren’t paying attention to what I’m saying.” – “Give it a rest! I’m tired of this conversation.”>
5.28 When you want to return to your point
What was I saying? Listen A “My train of thought was disrupted and now I am going to return to my point.” <“I’m sorry. We got interrupted. What was I saying?”>
Where was I? Listen <“That telephone call made me lose the thread of my argument. Where was I?”>
What were we talking about? Listen <“What were we talking about? Oh, yes! You asked me an interesting question.”>
I’ve lost my train of thought for a moment. Listen <“Sorry, I’ve lost my train of thought for a moment. Let’s continue our conversation.”>
I’m a little absent-minded. Listen <“I’m a little absent-minded. Anyway, I want to go on with my story.”>
5.29 When you want a person to speak in simple language
Give it to me in plain English. Listen A “Tell it to me in clear language.” <“This is way too complicated. Give it to me in plain English.”>
What does that mean in plain English? Listen <“I’m sorry. I don’t understand your point. What does that mean in plain English?”>
Stop circumventing the issue. Listen A “Stop maneuvering around the topic of discussion.” <“Get to the point. Stop circumventing the issue.”>
Stop speaking in circles. Listen <“Cut to the chase. Stop speaking in circles.”>
Put your cards on the table. Listen A “Explain clearly.” <“Tell me the full story. Put your cards on the table.”>
Don’t beat around the bush. Listen A “Don’t avoid an open talk.” <“Answer my direct question. Don’t beat around the bush.”>
5.30 When you express understanding
I understand. Listen <“I got sick that day. This is why I did not show up.” – “I understand.”>
I see. Listen A “I see your point. I understand.” <“Our airplane couldn’t take off on time due to some technical problem.” – “I see.”>
I get it. Listen <“Wildfires are common in California. Firefighters are ready all the time.” – “I get it.”>
I got it. Listen <“Every member of the crew must obey captain’s orders.” – “I got it.”>
5.31 When you want to interrupt and add some information
I’m sorry to interrupt, but you’re not exactly right. Listen <“Ma’am, I’m sorry to interrupt, but you’re not exactly right. There’re different opinions about that.”>
I beg your pardon, but I don’t think that’s entirely correct. Listen <“Boss, I beg your pardon, but I don’t think that’s entirely correct. Allow me to explain.”>
May I interrupt for a minute? Listen <“May I interrupt for a minute? The train is about to leave.” – “Oh, yes, we need to board the train immediately.”>
Can I say something? Listen <“We can go to the beach either in Santa Barbara or in Ventura, whichever you prefer.” – “Can I say something? I hate to rain on your parade, but I heard a storm advisory an hour ago.”>
Can I add something here? Listen <“You two have been arguing all day. Can I add something here?” – “What do you want to add to our highly scientific discussion?” – “Pipe down. Take your disagreements elsewhere.”>
Can I put in my two cents’ worth? Listen A “Can I contribute some small value to the conversation?” <“I’ve heard your arguments in favor of the new theory and against it. Can I put in my two cents’ worth?”>
If I may. Listen A “If you allow me to interject a remark.” <“Guys, if I may. Neither the Earth nor the Sun is the center of the universe. The universe is infinite, and both the Earth and the Sun are celestial bodies traveling across it.”>
5.32 When you want to highlight the seriousness of your point
I’m dead serious. Listen <“Listen, our project doesn’t have much chance. We’ve got to work harder to save it. I am dead serious.”>
I’m not kidding. Listen <“Our company is in a very bad shape. I’m not kidding.”>
No kidding. Listen A “I am not joking. It is serious.” <“It appears like the dollar keeps falling.” – “No kidding. Look at store prices!”>
No pun intended. Listen <A sales associate in a store saw that a customer with a broken hand had a hard time loading his shopping cart and said, “Can I give you a hand? No pun intended.”>
Joking aside. Listen <“Some people taunt him about his habits. But joking aside, he is a very efficient manager.”>
What’s funny? Listen <“Guys, I am telling you the truth. What’s funny?”>
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